Good Childhood Yet Anxious in Adult Relationships

New Update: Announcing the Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz and Course

Many of us want to know how to heal, how to change, how to be more secure, etc. This is why I created the course: The Four Attachment Distress Responses. You’re invited to take the quiz and learn about your Response.

Many of our behaviors in relationships are habitual – meaning we act out of autopilot. Our autopilot Response comes from past conditioning of negative experiences. When attachment injuries go unaddressed, we become insecure in our relationships.

The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course describes each specific type of guardedness, which means how we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again while attempting to get our attachment needs met.

While we cannot change the past, we can change how we respond in the moment and in the future. This course offers you insights and tools as new ways to respond in your relationships. The Four Responses are Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting.

Check out the quiz to learn more: See link above.  


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As an Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist, I teach and promote a model of Self-Directed Healing, which translates into a model of self-empowerment. We’re strengthening your ability to advocate for yourself. As Selfhealers, we take a holistic approach. This means we advocate for your mental health, your personal growth, and your overall well-being. It means you are in the driver seat of your own care.

On my videos, I like to talk about and explore Healing Attachment Trauma, Relationship Repair, Inner Child Self-Re-Parenting, Codependency, Love Addiction, Grieving Break Ups, Family Programming, Love Yourself, Fantasy Relationships, Trauma Bonding, and CPTSD Breakthroughs.

Heal Your Relationships = #attachmenttrauma
Trust Your Intuition = #selfhealers
Repair w/ Reparenting = #innerchild


ONE REASON WHY: if you came from a relatively loving, good home and yet experience preoccupied, anxious mind in your adult relationships, then chances are it’s because you suffer from an unintegrated, covert, developmental, emotional attachment trauma. If parents were “there-not there” or emotionally distracted during key, critical moments during your childhood and unable to offer deeper attuned emotional presence, then it’s possible that your nervous system experienced a level of distress and primal panic that now mostly shows up in your current adult relationships.


Thanks for watching this video.

If the topic of this video has sparked self-reflection and you are now asking yourself “How do I overcome this?”, “How can I heal?”, the Improve your Relationships community is the right place for you. To learn more about the membership community visit The community provides a structured and reoccurring 8-week program of helpful conversations, learning, and support; it offers resources, worksheets, and videos. It promotes a model of self-directed healing and invites self-accountability. You are invited to join us.

Also if you benefit from this video and would like to become a sustaining supporter through a reoccurring or one-time donation, then please check out

To learn more about working together go to

I offer Attachment-Focused, Trauma Informed Relationship Coaching and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples. I work with adult clients dealing with relationship challenges or failures, lack of purpose, emotional-developmental trauma, and loneliness. I help clients solve problems, feel feelings, and get unstuck. I work with clients via telephone and video-conferencing.

Remember… emotional connections matter!

Alan Robarge, LPC
Attachment Focused, Trauma Informed
Psychotherapist and Relationship Coach

Good Childhood Yet Anxious in Adult Relationships


Want to learn more about relationships? Sign up for my Everyday Relating Questionnaire. .

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